I Want To Know What Love Is
by Womenreligiousfan
Summary: What if the Oleson's adopted a girl who did have an awful childhood. How will she deal with her past?
1. Chapter 1

Healing

It had been two weeks since Nellie had written her parents about her and Percival staying in New York City permanently. Harriet had been in a deep depression since she had heard the news. She had refused to leave her bed and Nels was worried about her.

"Harriet, I don't know how many times I have told you, but there is reason to live. The whole family does need you; the community needs you on the school board, church council and at the mercantile", said Nels.

"But I won't have Nellie!",said Harriet bursting into tears.

"Oh Harriet, she'll write and call us",said Nels stroking Harriet's hand.

"I won't see her or my grandchildren!",said Harriet.

"We will someday dear. They will visit.",said Nells.

"It won't be the same! I want Dr. Baker to get me some sleeping powders. Then everything will be better",said Harriet.

"I'll get Dr. Baker, but I don't think he will give you sleeping powders. I hope not",said Nels. He said I hope not under his breath. She was so depressed that he didn't want her taking any medication.

When Dr. Baker came Harriet began to sob and beg for sleeping powders.

"Mrs. Oleson, I can understand how this is a difficult time for you. I am very concerned, but I won't give you those sleeping powders. They could make you feel worse," said Dr. Baker.

"How could you do this to me!" Said Harriet.

"I didn't do anything to you Mrs. Oleson. You have a wonderful husband and church family who do care about you. I hate to you or any of my patients like this",said Dr. Baker.

"Reverend Alden said something like that too, but it didn't work. I'm going to read from Joab now",said Harriet as she reached for her Bible, reading verses that said things like blot out the day I was born.

Dr. Baker left wondering if adoption would work for Harriet. He mentioned it to Nels. Nels agreed that he would talk to Harriet. She refused saying the child would never love her and could never replace her darling Nellie. Nels prayed that night as he had every night since Harriet was depressed. He prayed that Harriet would overcome her depression.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The next day Harriet was surprised to see Cassandra and Charles come to visit. After Charles left to go back to work, Cassandra read Harriet a story and Harriet actually enjoyed it. She was such a happy girl, and she was adopted. Harriet asked Cassandra if she liked being adopted. She told her she loved the Ingalls like her own family. Harriet heard this and believed that she should adopt. She then began yelling for Nells to get the tub ready so she could take a bath. As soon as she thought that there could be an orphan girl out there somewhere who could love her, she knew that she and Nels must adopt.

The next day Harriet and Nels went to the orphanage to find a girl to adopt. Harriet was so excited. Nels was looking forward to adopting too. He just hoped that this one wouldn't turn out so spoiled.

When they got to the orphanage, they saw many girls. Nels thought he would spend time talking to them and was surprised when Harriet pulled Mr. Case the director of the orphanage aside and said " They're just not my Nellie."

"Harriet you'll never find another Nellie",said Nels.

"I know that Nels," said Harriet.

Just then Ms. Mason, the woman who had brought the girls out before, came in the room with another girl. She looked like Nellie with her hair down.

"This is Elizabeth; she just came to the orphanage this morning. She said she'd liked to be adopted,"said Ms. Mason.

"Hello Elizabeth. You are a very pretty young lady. Just like my Nellie when she was your age", said Harriet.

It's nice to meet you Elizabeth. How old are you?," said Nels.

"14, sir",said Elizabeth.

"Well Elizabeth how would you like to be adopted by us and be the richest girl in Walnut Grove",said Harriet.

"I would like to be adopted ma'am.",said Elizabeth.

"Then we'd be very happy to adopt you Elizabeth.",said Nels.

"Yes, we would and please call us Mother and Father," said Harriet.

"Yes, Mother",said Elizabeth.

"Oh I can't wait until you see where you'll live. I'll get you all the right clothes, Introduce you to eligible young men, get you all the magazines, candy and phonograph records and books you'll ever want," said Harriet, talking almost non-stop all the way back to Walnut Grove.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

The whole ride back Nels or Elizabeth could barely get a word in on the ride home. Harriet spent most of the ride talking. 5 hours of Harriet trying to stop non-stop was excruciating. When Nels snapped at Harriet, Elizabeth said in a timed voice, "Please don't yell Father."

"Oh I'm sorry did that startle you?" asked Nels.

"I suppose so.",said Elizabeth.

"I'll try not to do that again.",said Nels.

"Elizabeth darling, I'm sorry he frightened you. He just thinks I talk too much.",said Harriet."

Elizabeth whispered to Harriet, "Does he ever hit you when he gets mad?",asked Elizabeth.

"Oh for heaven's sake, of course not, "whispered Harriet.

"Can we call you Lizzy, darling?" asked Harriet.

"If you'd like, mother, you can," said Elizabeth.

"Would you like us to call you Lizzy?" asked Nels.

"Could you please call me Beth? Only if you want,"said Elizabeh.

"Whatever you want Beth," said Nels.

"Oh yes dear, whatever you want," said Harriet still wishing she could call her Lizzy, but determined to give her everything she wanted.

It was dark by the time that the Oleson's reached home. After a meal of some sandwiches and fruit, Harriet took Beth to pick out a dress for Sunday morning.

"Oh Mother, these dresses that your daughter wore, they are so pretty. I do like this one though, "said Beth.

"Oh she wore that to a private school, when we lived in Winoka for a while. That's the only dress you like dear?", asked Harriet.

"Yes, Mother. You called me dear and darling so many times today, you are too kind, "said Beth smiling.

"Oh Beth you are such a polite young lady. I'll order you some more dresses Monday, "said Harriet.

"Thank you mother, you know I don't deserve such fancy dresses," said Beth.

"What a silly thing to say. You're my daughter and you deserve the best", said Harriet.

"Yes, mother, if you say so", said Elizabeth.

"Well, if you want those dresses than I'll make sure you get plainer dresses," said Harriet.

"Thank You Mother. I think I'll go to bed now. Do you mind?," asked Beth.

"Of course I don't mind. Come and say goodnight to your father if you need anything else let me know," said Harriet.

After Beth said goodnight to Nels, Harriet kissed her goodnight. Beth could not believe it. She hadn't been kissed in five years. She had forgotten what kindness and love had felt like.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

The next morning Beth got up and was the only one up. She was wondering when everyone else would get up. She had heard that her brother had gone to stay with a friend overnight. She was hoping that Willie would be kind to her. A few minutes later, Nels came downstairs and greeted Beth.

"Good morning Beth. I was thinking that we could have some pancakes this morning. I'm sure your mother will be up in about a half an hour, and Willie should be home from the Ingalls's soon", said Nels.

"I'll make them, father ", said Beth.

"Oh you don't have to do that. I enjoy cooking," said Nels.

"Thank you Father, "said Beth.

A few minutes later Harriet came into the sitting room.

"Good morning Beth. Is your Father making breakfast?", asked Harriet.

"Yes he is", replied Beth.

"Oh good, I do hope Willie comes home soon. I don't know why he would like to sleep under the stars with Albert. Sleeping outside is silly", said Harriet.

"I suppose so", said Beth.

Just then Willie came in the front door.

"Hi, Ma",said Willie.

Hello. This is your new sister, Beth", said Harriet.

"It's nice to meet you, Willie," said Beth.

"You too, Beth," said Wille.

After breakfast, the family went to church. Everyone was so warm and welcoming and Beth felt loved. Reverend Alden was such a caring man. Beth enjoyed his sermon as well. She hadn't been to church in years, and was glad to be back.

As the Oleson's left church, Harriet thought she would introduce Beth to her new teacher Mrs. Wilder. Just as Harriet was about to introduce Beth to Mrs. Wilder, Almanzo said "Beth?"

"Yes?" replied Beth and Mrs. Wilder in unison.

Charles, who was nearby began to laugh. Beth wondered why he was laughing, but she loved his laugh.

"I'm sorry, but the way you both said yes to Amanzo made me laugh," said Charles

"Yes, Manly?",asked Laura.

"I think Mrs. Oleson wants to talk to you," said Almanzo.

"Oh, yes. Good morning Mrs. Oleson," said Laura.

"Good Morning, I know that Rev Alden has introduced her this morning, but I thought Beth should meet her new teacher. Beth, this is Mrs. Wilder," said Harriet.

"Hello Mrs. Wilder," said Beth

"It's nice to meet you Beth," replied Laura. She then introduced Beth to Almanzo and the rest of the Ingalls family. Beth enjoyed meeting them; they seemed like such a wonderful family.

After the Olesons left church and were having lunch, they began to talk about the morning.

"Well Beth, I must say that you are very well liked in Walnut Grove. I do hope all the children are kind to you tomorrow when you start school. You tell me if anyone does anything to you, and I'll talk to the children's parents, "said Harriet.

"Oh that's very kind of you, but I don't want anything to happen to you, replied Beth.

"Oh don't be silly, people in this town listen to me. Nothing will happen to me," replied Harriet.

"Beth, did you enjoy church this morning?" asked Nels, trying to change the subject.

"Yes, Father, "said Beth.

"What did you like?" asked Nels.

"The hymns, the sermon, the people.", replied Beth.

"Me too, Beth", said Nels.

"I hate that hymn, Bringing in the Sheaves. I don't need a farming metaphor to hear about how to be a good Christian. I suppose the sermon was alright, but the people in this town are not the finest. That Inglalls family hates us. Laura was so cruel to my Nellie. That Albert is the worst of all. He fathered a child, and his mother had the nerve to lie to me about it," said Harriet.

"Harriet Oleson that is not true! How dare you continue to repeat that rumor! I believe what Charles and Caroline told me and I never believed your phony story!," said Nels.

"May I be excused, Mother?, asked Beth.

"Yes dear. Now Nels see what you've done!," exclaimed Harriet.

As the argument raged on, Beth ran to her room. She began to cry. She could not believe what Mother said about the Ingalls family. They seemed so nice. Did Albert really do what Mother said? She wondered if she should ask Wile. He was a friend of Albert's. She decided it wouldn't matter. She'd try to put it out of her mind.

Later that night, Harriet asked Beth if she was looking forward to school.

"Yes I suppose so," Beth.

"You suppose so?", asked Harriet.

"I don't read very well. I've never been to school", said Beth.

"You've never been to school, why ever not?", asked Harriet.

"My stepfather wouldn't let me go," explained Beth.

"Oh how terrible! I can always help you with your schoolwork. It's getting late now. I suggest if you want to have a good day tomorrow, you get a good night sleep.",said Harriet.

"Thank You Mother, I'm glad you will help me.",said Beth.

Beth went to sleep that night hoping tomorrow would go well.


End file.
